We believe consent is a foundational part of pleasure and fulfilling sexual exploration. By creating a strong sense of safety with yourself and your partner, you can explore more freely. Desire Codes was intended to open up exploration and conversation with yourself and your partners. You may encounter things that make you uncomfortable or which you have no interest in trying — and that’s okay! 

What does consent look like when using Desire Codes? 

• Ask your partner or potential partners if they’d like to read types you identify with or explore their own 

• When communicating about things you’d like to try or not a helpful tool is a Yes, No, Maybe List

• When engaging in sexual discussions or activity, check for ongoing consent and read your partner’s body language 

• If your partner’s response is less than a 100% enthusiastic yes to anything, create space to have a discussion about it and ensure you give them an easy out 

• Check in with yourself just as frequently as you do your partner — is anything difficult coming up? 

• Create a safe word and use it as often as you need 

• Talk afterwards, reflect on what felt good and what, if anything, didn’t. Are there things you’re happy you tried, but you wouldn’t do again? Are there places where something difficult came up? Did you like something you didn’t expect to like? 

We took inspiration for this guidance from the Wheel of Foreplay by the Future Sex Lab, but if you’re interested in learning more you can check out these resources:

1. What Consent Looks Like — RAINN

2. How Do You Know if Someone Wants to Have Sex with You? — Planned Parenthood