What do you want to feel?

There is no easy quiz to determine your code. To help you discover your codes, we’ve created 7 collections. Each collection is organized around a deeper feeling Americans are seeking during intimacy. Ask yourself the question: What do I want to feel?

Remember, most Americans told us they identify with more than one code. Their desires changed with time, partners, and life experience. You contain multitudes. Allow yourself to explore, play, and change. 

Love &
Connection

You primarily want to experience and express love, connection, or romance.
61% of Americans told us they typically want to experience deep love and connection in a sexual experience. 

  • You are turned on by deep, soulful, emotional intimacy; you like the passionate intensity of “merging into one” or “losing yourself” in someone else. Read the Cosmic Lover playbook.

  • You are turned on by cinematic acts of romance; foreplay for you is hours of cute activities and goofing off with your partner as you build to sex. Read the Rom-Com Star playbook.

  • You crave the physical closeness of sex, skin contact/cuddling — maybe even more than the sex itself; you want to hold and/or be held. Read the Hold Me Closer playbook.

  • You are turned on by gentle, romantic sex; you like the warmup to be slow and comfortable with an air of sensuality. Read the Marvin Gaye playbook.

POWER &
POWERLESSNESS

You primarily want to explore power dynamics and play with expressions of dominance and submission.
19% of Americans told us they typically want to experience power dynamics in a sexual experience.  

  • You are turned on by games of cat and mouse, play-fighting; you love chasing, laughter, teasing, wrestling, rough-and-tumble play. Read the Flirty Fighter playbook.

  • You are turned on by "why don't you make me" sex; you like to playfully challenge your partner's authority because you want to be put in your place. Read the Brat playbook.

  • For you, pain is pleasure; you want your partner to handle you roughly: slapping, choking, hard spanking, and other acts in the pursuit of pleasurable pain. (Consensually, of course.) Read the Hurt Me playbook.

  • You take pleasure in surrendering your power, but only temporarily, and only to someone who’s earned it: you find pleasure in giving control to someone strong and capable. You are the queen, but tonight you want to be dominated. Read the Knights Queen playbook.

  • You live to serve the one who has power over you — including exerting your power over them when they desire it. In this role, you are both the knight in shining armor and the dark knight, sweeping your partner off their feet and using your strength to dominate. Read the Queen’s Knight playbook.

  • You like a sensual, passionate encounter that can be rough, but not painful: light choking, spanking, or manhandling just to remind you of your vulnerability. Read the Dark Princess playbook.

  • For you, being pleased means being spoiled: relaxation, admiration, pampering — it’s all for you. You like your body/pleasure to be the center of the action. Read the Pillow Princess playbook.

  • You are turned on by being degraded: you want a partner who can treat you like a “slut,” like a “whore,” who “uses” you for their pleasure. Read the Dirty Whore playbook.

  • You are turned on by being the object of desire for someone with more experience or power: you want to be guided, led, taught, and doing a “good job” brings you pleasure. Read the Good Girl/Boy playbook.

  • You are turned on by inflicting pain; your dominance can tap into elements of cruelty, including emotional degradation and physical brutality. Read the Punishment Dom playbook.

  • You are turned on by the raw, physical act of sex: there’s nothing cruel in your aggressive, animalistic urges, but there’s nothing tender, either. Read the Spartan playbook.

  • ou enjoy playing caretaker and boundary holder, you want to play the role as the more experienced partner, but with a soft style that includes lots of praise, affirmation, and validation. Read the Daddy/Mommy playbook.

Validation & Affirmation

You primarily want to be desired or feel your ability to create pleasure in someone else.
55% of Americans seek to feel desirable in a sexual experience. 

  • You are primarily turned on by your ability to please your partner. You’re pleased by seeing, feeling, hearing and, most of all, being the cause of your partner’s pleasure. Read the Pleaser playbook.

  • You are excited to learn and master the skills and tricks of creating pleasure. Like picking a lock or crafting a watch, you pay attention to specific details in perfecting your partners’ physical and emotional experience. Read the Technician playbook.

  • You are turned on by being watched and admired in states of undress, pleasure, or sex acts. Read the Watch Me playbook.

Sensuality

You primarily want to experience the pleasure of your senses and connect to the body.
41% of Americans told us they typically want to connect to all their senses and body in a sexual experience. 

  • You are aroused by the right mood or vibe: weather, scents, textures, music — all of these and more contribute to a vibe that turns you on — and the wrong vibe can turn you off. Read the Atmospheric playbook.

  • You are turned on by being animalistic, following intuition and instinct. You like it better when things are messy, juicy, wet; sex is best when you follow sensation and let go of feeling “civilized.” Read the Feral Sensualist playbook.

  • You are strongly turned on by teasing, gentle touches — fingers, feathers, other soft instruments or light nails: the slightest touch can lead to goosebumps and chills. Read the Tactile Teased playbook.

  • Sex isn’t satisfying unless you have to wait for it, anticipate it, yearn for it; teasing, taunting, withholding — even without being touched — you need these until you can’t take it anymore. Read the Anticipator playbook.

Spirituality

You primarily want to connect to something bigger through sex.
21% of Americans told us they typically want to have a spiritual experience through sex. 

  • You are looking for a spiritual experience in sex, you pursue pleasure not just for its own sake, but to connect you to something greater than yourself. Read the Spiritualist playbook.

Taboo

You primarily want to indulge in what feels off limits or taboo.
19% of Americans told us they typically want to explore taboo desires in a sexual experience. 

  • For you, the permission, the opportunity, the freedom to pursue your desires is as pleasing — or even more pleasing — than pleasure itself; you want to let go, break free — and you’ll do almost anything to get it. Read the Uncaged playbook.

  • You are turned on by what’s “bad” for you, what’s “wrong” for you — what you’re not allowed to have; you find pleasure in pushing or even crossing boundaries, whether with a partner or on your own. Read the Forbidden Lovers playbook.

  • You are turned on by leading someone else to their edge. You find pleasure and satisfaction in someone indulging in their “dark side” — all because you showed it to them. Read Dark Virgil playbook.

Experience

You primarily want sex to open new, interesting, and exciting experiences.
22% told us they want to discover something new about themselves.

  • You are turned on by sex that will be an incredible story. You love spontaneity, exciting locations, and new circumstances. Sometimes you have sex just for the story. Read the Storyhunter playbook.

  • You are turned on by novelty and experimentation: new sex acts, interesting locations, unique toys and novel contexts. Read the Experimentalist playbook.

  • You are turned on by stepping into fantastical stories, acting out scenarios. For you, sex is like theater: costumes, characters, and roleplay are all essential. Read the Thespisexual playbook.

  • You are turned on by enthusiasm, by just trying things that could be fun: your favorite sex is filled with laughter, discovery, and joy. Read the Playmate playbook.