Before You Begin

Many of us struggle to articulate our deepest desires. While kink lists and technique guides are wonderful tools, they often fall short in helping us identify and give words to the deeper feelings or dynamics we seek in sex.

Desire Codes, born from a 9-month study of American sexual preferences by Nonfiction Research, attempts to unearth a wider desire menu.


The 31 codes — developed from studying thousands of Americans' sexual preferences, fantasies, and turn-ons. We owe much to the kink and queer communities for laying the groundwork to identify many of these dynamics.

Whether you identify as a Cosmic Lover or a Dirty Whore, we hope Desire Codes helps you understand yourself, your partners, and bridge differences to create better sexual connections.

How to use this tool:

  • Look for yourself, look for your partners 

  • Use the types as starting points for conversations with your partners

  • Reflect on what might be different for you and for them

  • Ask questions — be curious!

How to not use this tool: 

  • Don’t take the types as hard and fast rules 

  • Don’t assume everyone who identifies as a type is 100% the same 

  • Don’t use the tool as a substitute for real conversations

  • Don’t make the type your entire identity

Remember, 

  • You can be many different types at once

  • You can change over time, through circumstance, or from partner to partner

  • No real person’s desires can ever be fully reduced to an archetype 

  • There are certainly more than 31 possible types in existence, and this collection is ever-evolving

  • And of course, ensure all interactions are 100% consensual. If you’d like more guidance on consent, read here