Brat
Brat
006
BRAT
9% of Americans
The Lowdown: You are turned on by “why don't you make me?" sex; you like to playfully challenge your partner's authority because you want to be put in your place.
The Partner’s Job: When you are with a Brat, your core job is to assert your authority (consensually); the brat will try to challenge you and you need to find ways to playfully reassert your authority.
*term originated from the kink community
Hear a real BRAT
COMING SOON
BRATs by the Stats
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9% of Americans
13% Women
5% Men
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28% of Bisexual Women
11% of Straight Women
10% of Lesbian Women
7% of Gay Men
7% of Bisexual Men
4% of Straight Men
* We also recorded data from Americans who identified as pansexual, asexual, and (separately) nonbinary, but each of these identifications was so small as to be less than half of our margin of error, so we’re not including this data due to the potential for misrepresenting their views.
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Standout Signs: Leo & Aries
What BRATs fantasize about:
“We're arguing that day and he tells me to come lay down with him and I say: ‘No, make me.’ I make him work for my attention and act like I don't want him. I really enjoy him fighting for my attention.”
- Brat, to us (40, Woman, Heterosexual)
“I’d start a fight and get him good and mad. Once he’s annoyed I’ll start flirting.”
- Brat, to us (39, Woman, Heterosexual, Homemaker)
“Somewhere around the village of Uptown New York, my partner and I are coming back from a night of partying, we take an Uber home considering how slammed we are from the multiple drinks and blunts we had, the Uber finally meets the destination, we both get out. We are both helping each other get up the stairs as we are laughing and giggling, and when we finally meet our door, we lock eyes with so much passion and desire, we start making out, we go top of the couch as we are swapping salivas in almost an animalistic nature in the action. I whispered to him, “I want you to make me your bitch”; aroused by my statement, he then slams me to the couch and spanks me.”
- Brat, to us (26, Man, Homosexual)
Pleasing a brat
We asked Brats what specific acts were important to pleasing them in this mode:
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67% of Brats
32% of Americans
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52% of Brats
20% of Americans
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70% of Brats
37% of Americans
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74% of Brats
31% of Americans
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57% of Brats
47% of Americans
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54% of Brats
23% of Americans
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Not all Brats are the same; some told us they also wanted:
Slow, sensual movements
49% Brats
51% All Americans
Verbal Praise
45% Brats
30% All Americans
Verbal confessions of love
38% Brats
33% All Americans
Coaching from BRATS
• Learn what activates your brat’s playful side • Set clear rules; brats love to challenge rules • Balance authority with affection • Understand boundaries, establish a safe word
“The most important things I would tell them are my needs, wants, and boundaries; for example, I want to be spanked, slapped, and used, and I need for communication to be clear and direct.”
- Brat, to us (26, Man, Homosexual)
“I like being called a brat, a bad girl. But when I listen, being called a good girl. I need the praise as well. Submission, light choking, spanking, not being able to make eye contact, not being able to know when I am being touched.”
- Brat, to us (21, Woman, Heterosexual)
“Come up with a safe word with your partner for when you’re starting to not like something or start to feel unsafe — that way they stop. Checking in for both parties is also important. I would talk about spanking, choking, and being held tightly on the wrist and if it’s a ‘no’ or a ‘yes’ for each partner.”
- Brat, to us (21, Woman, Heterosexual)
Steal a trick
Creative punishments
Brats enjoy playful punishments. Tease them with consequences like “Keep this up, and I won’t let you eat your favorite snack for a week.”
Watchouts
Avoid the following:
1. Not picking up on the teasing
2. Misjudging the level of desired dominance
3. Overstepping boundaries, not obtaining consent
