PLEASER
PLEASER
017
PLEASER
37% of Americans
The Lowdown: You are primarily turned on by your ability to please your partner. You’re pleased by seeing, feeling, hearing and, most of all, being the cause of your partner’s pleasure.
The Partner’s Job: When you are with a Pleaser, your job is to communicate your desires implicitly and explicitly and give praise.
Hear a real PLEASER
COMING SOON
pleasers by the Stats
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37% of Americans
31% Women
43% Men
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44% of Straight Men
41% of Gay Men
40% of Lesbian Women
39% of Bisexual Women
28% of Straight Women
27% of Bisexual Men
* We also recorded data from Americans who identified as pansexual, asexual, and (separately) nonbinary, but each of these identifications was so small as to be less than half of our margin of error, so we’re not including this data due to the potential for misrepresenting their views.
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Standout Signs: Libra & Virgo
What PLEASERs fantasize about:
“We plan a rendezvous and tease each other off and on all day, usually by sexting, sometimes during work. I know how to use words that make her soaking wet, and force her to change her panties several times a day. By the time we finally meet, we want to jump each other for a few hours. She loves how spontaneous I am, and will in the middle of conversation, kiss her passionately, peel off her panties, and intently go down on her right then and there. We retreat to the bed, soon, but I first keep bringing her grinding hips going along, as though waiting for her to urge me and beg me to take her to bed and fuck her brains out all night.”
- Pleaser, to us (68, Man, Heterosexual, Retired Insurance Professional)
“When making him happy I can feel his body tremble with excitement. Which causes me excitement, it's the greatest feeling in the world to me. There couldn't be anything closer to him and our relationship.”
- Pleaser, to us (54, Woman, Heterosexual, Disabled)
“I sit patiently waiting; I know that she’ll be home any moment. I got out of work early and want to surprise her. The sound of footsteps, a jiggling doorknob, and the warm smile that meets me at the door. She places her bags on the couch and we embrace. Slowly, yet steadily, the night progresses and I’m allowed to release her tension from the day. I set the mood and caress her body. Goosebumps raise at my touch. A slight flick of the tongue and I can feel her body tense up. The night, my attention, my affection is hers and hers alone: a lesson that will be taught for however long it takes to send shivers up her spine. Finally, as she climaxes, I go back to caressing her body, now beading with sweat and pleasure.”
- Pleaser, to us (26, Genderfluid, Pansexual, Trainer)
Pleasing a pleaser
We asked Pleasers what specific acts were important to pleasing them in this mode:
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68% of Pleasers
59% of Americans
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55% of Pleasers
47% of Americans
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54% of Pleasers
48% of Americans
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51% of Pleasers
43% of Americans
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39% of Pleasers
30% of Americans
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38% of Pleasers
30% of Americans
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Not all Pleasers are the same; some told us they also wanted:
Power dynamic play involving bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM)
22% Pleasers
20% All Americans
Your partner cares about your orgasm
64% Pleasers
56% All Americans
Coaching from PLEASERs
• Openly communicate desires, give feedback • Take it slow, enjoy the journey • Bring open-mindedness and patience •
“I enjoy someone who can let go and allow me to learn what they enjoy so I can pleasure them the way they prefer. It’s about communication mostly but also showing them I listen and care about their needs. That’s sexy to me.”
- Pleaser, to us
“I love seeing how my man struggles to hold his grunts and trying not to moan as I suck him off. It makes me so wet seeing how he is trying to control himself and can’t because I’ve learned what his body likes and how it reacts to the smallest touch of my mouth ;).”
- Pleaser, to us (19, Woman, Heterosexual, Homemaker)
“Be tuned into your partner’s sounds and the way they respond to everything you do, but be careful not to write a script. It can become boring if it’s the same every time just because they like it once — next time could be different.”
- Pleaser, to us
Steal a trick
Vocalize the sensation in your body
To increase pleasure for a pleaser, try vocalizing the sensation in your body as they are pleasuring you. Be as specific as possible. For example: “I feel a heat rising in my neck.”
Watchouts
Avoid the following:
1. Doing anything you don’t enjoy or faking pleasure
2. Rushing past foreplay to intercourse
3. Not communicating or giving feedback
