Hurt Me
Hurt Me
007
HURT ME
10% of Americans
The Lowdown: For you, pain is pleasure; you want your partner to handle you roughly: slapping, choking, hard spanking, and other acts in the pursuit of pleasurable pain. (Consensually, of course.)
The Partner’s Job: When with a Hurt Me, your core job, in accordance with the desire and consent of your partner, is to dominate with aggressive intensity that includes expressions of consensual violence.
*term originated from @Aella
Hear a real hurt me
hurt mes by the Stats
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10% of Americans
14% Women
5% Men
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37% of Bisexual Women
13% of Bisexual Men
11% of Straight Women
10% of Gay Men
10% of Lesbian Women
5% of Straight Men
* We also recorded data from Americans who identified as pansexual, asexual, and (separately) nonbinary, but each of these identifications was so small as to be less than half of our margin of error, so we’re not including this data due to the potential for misrepresenting their views.
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Standout Signs: Leo, Scorpio & Sagittarius
What HURT MEs fantasize about:
“He grabs me, throws me against a wall and ties my hands behind me and blindfolds me. He whispers dirty stuff in my ear like how I want him to hurt/take me. He rips off my clothes and throws me on the bed. Applying nipple rings and weights, he uses toys to hurt/torture me all the while telling me how bad he's gonna hurt me. Shoving up my legs and inserting a huge toy in my anus, he tells me I might as well relax because it's gonna happen the easy way or hard way. He makes me suck his dick till he comes while I have a dildo with a clit thing in my pussy. Then I have to suck him hard again while he's fucking me with the toy and saying I better not cum. Once hard he put the dildo back up my anus and fucks me again saying I better not cum. By now I'm so ready to cum.”
- Hurt Me, to us (60, Woman, Straight)
“She comes over and I try to speak, but she tells me,’Shut the fuck up, I don't want to hear your mouth!’ as she slams my head into the wall. She grabs me by the throat and kisses me hard enough to draw blood. She rips off my clothes as I try to resist; when I do she hits me. She forces my cock into her mouth and gets me hard. She talks shit the whole time about taking what she wants from me. She pins me down and puts me inside her, riding me on top roughly. She keeps going, even after I tell her that I'm going to cum. She goes faster and I cum inside of her. She keeps fucking me till I'm not hard anymore. Then she gets up and leaves, but not before telling me not to resist again or she will hurt me.”
- Hurt Me, to us (36, Man, Heterosexual, Maintenance)
“When I woke up this morning I was still exhausted from the trip. I didn't notice the shock collar wrapped around my neck until I reached for a coffee cup and she lit me up. ‘What the fuck is wrong with you,’ I asked while struggling to get this fucking collar off my neck. She steps out in black leather and fires me up again and knew we would both be sore by tomorrow.”
- Hurt Me, to us (52, Male, Heterosexual, Trucking)
Pleasing a HURT ME
We asked Hurt Mes what specific acts were important to pleasing them in this mode:
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79% of Hurt Mes
32% of Americans
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83% of Hurt Mes
31% of Americans
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73% of Hurt Mes
35% of Americans
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60% of Hurt Mes
21% of Americans
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59% of Hurt Mes
27% of Americans
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50% of Hurt Mes
20 % of Americans
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Not all Hurt Mes are the same; some told us they also wanted:
Neck kisses
62% Hurt Mes
59% All Americans
Vulnerable Confessions
29% Hurt Mes
17% All Americans
Slow and sensual movements
45% Hurt Mes
51% All Americans
Coaching from HURT MES
• Seek to understand desired intensity clearly, use safe word • Balance pain with pleasure, use both ends of the spectrum • Tap into your inner animal •
“Come up with a safe word, that way if it gets too painful or rough you can give a safe word and they will stop.”
- Hurt Me, to us (29, Woman, Bisexual)
“Balance pain with pleasure by going back and forth with slaps and kisses.”
- A Hurt Me, to us
“I would first tell them not to be scared, that I like this kind of sex, that it turns me on even more.”
- Hurt Me, to us (25, Woman, Heterosexual, Hospital phlebotomist)
Steal a trick
COMING SOON
Watchouts
Avoid the following:
Ignoring safe words or not using proper technique
2. Not being forceful enough because they are afraid of hurting
3. Skimping on proper aftercare (affection, tending to the body, etc.)
