Spiritualist
Spiritualist
024
SPIRITUALIST
10% of Americans
The Lowdown: You are looking for a spiritual experience in sex. You pursue pleasure not just for its own sake, but to connect you to something greater than yourself.
The Partner’s Job: When you are with a Spiritualist, your primary job is to bring extreme presence, attention, and openness. For some, their desires are connected to a spiritual lineage and it will be important to understand their beliefs and practice.
Hear a real SPIRITUALIST
spiritualists
by the Stats
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10% of Americans
10% Women
10% Men
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15% of Bisexual Women
10% of Straight Men
10% of Straight Women
7% of Gay Men
7% of Bisexual Men
5% of Lesbian Women
* We also recorded data from Americans who identified as pansexual, asexual, and (separately) nonbinary, but each of these identifications was so small as to be less than half of our margin of error, so we’re not including this data due to the potential for misrepresenting their views.
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Standout Signs: Cancer
What SPIRITUALISTS fantasize about:
“I was with a partner that I had been with for at least five years. He wanted to spend the afternoon being slow and sensual, and it didn't have to go anywhere. He was not a person that did a lot of penetrative sex. He was much more into oral sex and manual stimulation than penetration. I had no problem with that. He was very thoughtful, mindful person, but he didn't regularly practice meditation or tantra.
There was a state that I got into where I couldn't speak, I couldn't move. I was just….my entire body was, it wasn't a climax. It was my entire body was vibrating. And this went on and on.
I was trying to explain to him what was going on, and he was like: ‘we're just gonna hold each other and experience the state together until the state changes.’ He was giddy like ‘oh my god. I was a part of producing the state.’”
- Spiritualist, to us (61, Woman, Bisexual)
“He led me up the deck and gently untied my sarong. He spread my legs and my body relaxed in his hands. I grew wet, awake and alive. His big, calloused fingers slipped inside me. I laid back on the table behind me, and he lowered himself before me. My field of vision so soaked in a bright sun I could barely see him, but I could feel him. Not just what he was doing to me, but him, the real him.
He ran his fingers in and out of me with the perfect precision, using one hand to rub my clit and the other to fuck me with building intenisty.
I relaxed even more and my legs began to vibrate. My feet searched to make contact with him, my hand gripped his forearms. My entire body shook in a sun-soaked ecstasy and I breathed deeply to stay present with the sensation. My whole body was orgasming, but there was no climax -- just a golden, electric honey flowing over me. In that moment, I felt like God entered me.
— Spiritualist, to us (32, Woman, Bisexual)
Pleasing a spiritualist
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54% of Spiritualists
35% of Americans
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59% of Spiritualists
51% of Americans
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66% of Spiritualists
48% of Americans
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55% of Spiritualists
47% of Americans
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38% of Spiritualists
23% of Americans
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15% of Spiritualists
8% of Americans
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Not all Spiritualists are the same; some told us they also wanted:
Power dynamic play involving bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM)
28% Spiritualists
20% All Americans
Spanking (light or hard)
37% Spiritualists
236% All Americans
Bondage
20% Spiritualists
16% All Americans
Coaching from spiritualists
• Establish a deep, soulful connection • Focus on the sensations in your body • Be intentional about setting up the space •
“You have to be very aware of sensations in your body. Be very aware of sensations with the other person. Go slow, breathe together and drop all expectations about extraordinary experiences. Drop expectations that there has to be penetration, there has to be climax. Go slow and see how much you can enjoy the sensations.”
- Spiritualist, to us (61, Woman, Bisexual)
“Make me feel, set the stage for me and lead me into the candlelight and incense, be unhurried and gentle.”
- Spiritualist, to us (72, Woman, Heterosexual)
“I want you to close your eyes and think about having sex with me in a spiritualist, emotional and romantic way. I want you to feel your manhood inside of me while you're kissing me deeply with your tongue.”
- Spiritualist, to us (55, Woman, Bisexual, Disabled)
Steal a trick
Develop a practice
Practices like Tantra, Orgasmic Meditation, or breathwork can help lovers develop more sensitivity, presence, and depth of connection — all keys to creating spiritual or mystical experiences.
Watchouts
Avoid the following:
1. Going too fast or too rough
2. Lacking presence or emotional connection
3. Reducing intimacy to something “casual”
